Jesus in the Deli

Good morning my friends.

Since returning to my Middle City after Thanksgiving (sans puppy) I have been in a pretty foul humor. I feel like it's probably a conglomeration of the winter season, being currently puppy-less, and nearing the end of the scholastic semester. I suppose it's my time to admit that I am letting all these things get to me. I am letting my circumstances dictate my mood. Bad Charlotte, bad, bad.

Yesterday I was frowning around the grocery store in search of some cooked chicken. I picked up a box containing 8 pieces of chicken, ready to eat. Wrapped up in my own depressed feelings, I did not notice an elderly deli worker sidle up next to me. His calm voice interrupted my morose thoughts and he said to me, "Ma'am, I just boxed up some fresh chicken that just came out of the oven. Would you like that instead of that old stuff?" I turned to him and felt a smile taking over my face. I nodded and he trundled behind the counter to retrieve the box for me. He even made sure it was the same price as the one I had been looking at previously. I thanked him profusely. I was so happy.

I wasn't happy because I got a box of hot chicken (although that did help my mood). I was happy, finally, because this man had shown me love. He could have let me pick up the older box and then put a new one out in it's place, but he decided to give me something better. He was looking out for me. I wanted to cry because I felt so touched by his act of kindness. What an awesome God we have, who can turn our mood around with such a small thing. I felt Jesus there, in the grocery deli, yesterday.

I often wonder if my attempts at showing love to people even makes a difference in their lives. Lately I've been avoiding the small acts of kindness in order to nurse my own fallen heart. I've let a frown settle on my face and justified it by thinking to myself, "It's about time I worry about myself and how I feel." You know what this has led to? I've caught myself thinking poorly of other people for not reaching out to me when I'm so clearly down and depressed. Those thoughts lead me to even deeper self pity and anger. I think it's safe to say that self pity and despairing thoughts capture me in a vicious cycle of self-centered craziness.

Throughout my down days I attempted to make contact with God. My prayers weren't pretty and they were really quite pathetic. Do you think that Jesus made himself known to me in the deli to show me that He had heard my prayers? Maybe He wanted to show me that an act of kindness that seems insignificant to us can turn someones life around. There are so many things to think about!

Today I'm going to smile. I'm going to smile because Jesus reached out to me through a little old man at the deli. I'm going to smile because Jesus wants me to share the love He has shown to me. I'm going to smile because He has given me a reason to.

I hope you smile today too.

Love,
Charlotte