So Long

Good evening.

The pastor at my church wrote a book called "Satisfied" and his current sermon series is expounding on the text. Last Sunday he talked about how comparison can turn us from content and grateful people to envious, discontented people. He mentioned that Facebook is a blaring means of comparing yourself to others. I know this to be true, at least for me. I'm in the process of shutting down my Facebook account for good.

I want to be happy. I want to see the abundance of what I have. I don't want to compare myself to you, and I don't want you to have to compare yourself to me. I'm so used to going right to Facebook when I turn on my computer or my phone. I wonder how I can change for the better by leaving that facet of social media behind....

By the by, have you noticed how cold it is outside? My goodness. The Middle City is a very chilly place right now. I can't wait to enjoy above-freezing temperatures once again. I can't wait for spring! Running water, green grass, trips to the dog park. For now Tank and I will have to make do with a frozen tundra and sub-freezing temperatures. At least he and I are really good at being cozy. He's so tiny that a furry blanket can be used as a snuggle fortress. I'm so glad I bought an electric blanket. Even with the blanket turned up high, it sometimes takes two hours for my toes to get warm. Just like my beloved Grandpa, Pliny Marcena Keep, my circulation likes to halt halfway down my leg and leave the toes out on their own.

It's no secret that I hate winter, but this time around I'm way more mentally and emotionally stable. Although I despise the cold and the extra darkness, I can make it through, because my brain is functioning better than it ever has before. Sometimes, though, I can't shake the memories of winter nights growing up when I would just start to weep when the sun went down. I hated night time and the darkness it brought. It was my worst time depression-wise. It still is. But now I pull the curtain shut tight, set all my lights a-blazing, brew some tea and snuggle with my perfect little Papillon companion.

My attempts at keeping my spirits up at night aren't always successful. I still have dark nights where I can't see past the pain in my chest. But it seems like the odds are in my favor now. God has walked me through the dark and lonely valley of young adult mental illness, and now He is leading me into a peaceful middle ground. He is letting me rest. What a gentle and loving God we have. I pray that you will continue to grasp His hand as you journey forward, on whatever terrain He has called you to traverse. It is well worth the journey.

Love,

Charlotte