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Good morning friends.

I'm home! Tank and I drove home on Wednesday. Tank enjoys racing around with the other dogs and I enjoy lounging around in my jammies all day long. My brother and I hung all the ornaments on our tree yesterday and now it looks very handsome. Mom made cookies last night and tonight our family (minus my sister who comes home on Monday) is going to see Anchorman 2 and gorge ourselves on movie popcorn for dinner.

Despite all these good things, the melancholy feeling I wrote about in a previous post remains. Does everyone have that feeling? I really don't remember anyone else readily admitting that they feel blue when everything seems to be going well in their lives. It's unfortunate because admitting it makes me look ungrateful, which I am not. I am extremely blessed and I am so thankful for those blessings. Still, though, I'm blue. I wonder why...

I've always been a little on the melancholy side of things. Thus is my brain's chemical composition. I avoid sad movies at all costs because I take the pain of the plot lines personally. I try to surround myself with positive people because I want to model myself after them. I thank God for the little things that make me smile, because I know He wants me to be joyful.

I guess it's normal to be sad sometimes. I just wish it didn't hit so hard during the holidays. Makes me feel like a grumpus. Having a bunch of free time during the school break also gives me extra time to dwell on my life choices, which doesn't usually end in positive thoughts. Regrets become stifling and wishes for the future become desperate. The media encourages us to take time to recall the events of this past calendar year. Why? Because we should be proud of them? Hmm...

I honestly don't have much to say that's particularly insightful about the holiday blues. I feel like this every year without fail. Maybe some day I'll look back and see a reason for the sadness, or that something good came out of it. Right now I'm going to try to take this one day at a time. I did the best I could this year, and Jesus knows that. My mistakes are glaring and ugly, but that's why He came to Earth in human form. He wanted to take our sins upon His shoulders so that we can one day rest in eternity with Him. He was born to save me and you.

Love,
Charlotte